South American Mobile Agency - Cold Email Teardown - Softon

OLD EMAIL:

Hey Alex, Thanks so much for accept my invitation.
I saw your profile and is really interesting. I would like to know more about the kind of services that you provide and see if we can work together. I want to share with you more info about our company.

Our main types of clients:
Software development companies
Software Departments of medium to big companies
Startups and companies that are building their products
Digital and Advertising agencies Image production companies

I hope this information is useful and really looking forward to hear back from you soon.
Thanks,

NEW EMAIL:

Subject: Hey Alex - About Inspirebeats and Softon
Hey Alex, I run a Costa Rican mobile app firm that’s been around since 2007. I know you get hundreds of these messages a day, but the team sat down and we have 10 ideas on how you can use mobile apps to improve your customer retention.

Our focus recently has been on B2B startups in SF, including y combinator graduates and 500 startup folk like x, y, and z.
Do you have 10 minutes to run through the ideas? Otherwise I can send a few via email to get the conversation started.
Thanks,